by Deanna Patterson

Have you ever known someone who works at putting on a righteous face to the world? He must always be right and works hard at controlling everything around him in order to keep up the "polished cup" appearance. He can never let himself look or be wrong in order to keep hidden what is on the inside of the cup, and he is extremely skillful at turning situations around in his mind until he is blameless and you find yourself being blamed for what he did wrong. Hypocrisy and lawlessness are hidden just inside the cup. Jesus addressed this issue with the Pharisees in Matthew 23:28: "So you, too, outwardly appear righteous to men, but inwardly you are full of hypocrisy and lawlessness".

Dr. Phillip McGraw, a noted psychologist, says that a person who feels out of control of his own person will seek to control everything around them in order to feel some kind of normalcy inside his or her self. But sooner or later, the truth will find a way to present itself. At some point something will happen that will cause an uncontrollable reaction and the truth will be exposed.

But he has a choice. He can choose to take responsibility for his actions or he can become defensive and continue to find ways to blame those around him. Defensiveness is a protectionism mechanism indicating a lack of self-esteem and fear of rejection when admitting a mistake. Perfectionists tend to be defensive because making a mistake means that they aren't perfect.